Things You Should not Say to Investors

Imagine you are standing in front of investors, your palms are sweaty, your throat is dry and your mind is going at 100 miles an hour. Investors look uninterested. Some are talking among themselves, others are looking at their phones. You are trying to smile but you have lost control of your facial muscles. "Is it cold or do I have a nervous fidget going on?!" And ... the pitch starts, and ... weird stuff start coming out of your mouth.

Many startup entrepreneurs make common mistakes while pitching ideas and products to investors. I made the same mistakes when I was pitching products in front of investors. I see them happening all the time now that I'm sitting at the other end of the table. Investors hear these phrases so much, gradually it becomes comical.

Here are things you should NOT say in front of investors:

—Our product is so good it sells itself (Nope it won't)

—We took innovation to the next level (Really!)

—Google will buy us in two years (Nope it won't)

—We have the same model as Facebook (Uh, here we go)

—Our financial forecast is very conservative (I think the zero key is stuck on your keyboard)

—Our team wears many hats (They shouldn't)

—We are like totally disrupting (You are like totally not)

—We are experts in this field (How come I never heard of you)

—We have no competition (Maybe there is a reason)

— If we build it, they'll come (May the force be with you)

—This is the opportunity of lifetime (Not in my lifetime)

—We started the company because we got tired of making somebody else rich (Seriously!)

—Our product is like Instagram meets Amazon (... and they had a little baby called Twitter)

—We need money to take the company to the next level (You have no plans, do you?!)

—Our idea is so advanced, it’s kinda hard to explain (Try me)

—We put the H in Hustle (I put the N in No)

—Yeah, we got all the good stuff like AI, blockchain, cloud, nano technology, analytics... (You forgot bitcoin)

—People are dying to get their hands on our product (Yeah, that explains all the dead bodies on the street)

—We are focusing on early adopters (Where are they?!)

Investors see hundreds of presentations every year. And they almost all follow the same format. But things fall apart when the QA session starts. Investors intentionally mess you up by asking questions that lead you to land mines. They want to see if you have tendencies to bullshit your way out of hard questions. Notice that all phrases above have two things in common: arrogance and ignorance. Do not try to weasel your way out of hard questions by sounding arrogant and if you don't know the answer, just say you don't know the answer.

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